Who needs men?

I decided that mum and I needed a holiday. I needed a big pat on the back for all the hard work I've put into the past few months an mum needed a thank you for all the support she's given me along the way. what a great opportunity to prove that we dont need the men in our lives to survive.
We pack the car and head north in the early hours of the morning with Peyton, Now 11weeks old, sleeping soundly in her car seat and the car fridge topped with redbull and our favourite lemon sherbert lollies.
The plan is to reach Geraldton and stop over night. We get to Gero a little after midday and feel alive enough to keep going. Peyton has been an angel, only waking for a bottle or a bum change so we would just pull over wherever we were at the time. We decided to keep going and make Monkey Mia by sunset making the drive 13 hours in total. 20mins out of town we realise to were tempting fate. Peyton was getting restless and we were losing steam fast. Too Bloody late! we keep going and arrive in Denham exhausted. It's hot and muggy, the flies are in the millions and Peyton has filled her nappy with sticky green stinky mess! poop is leaking from her pants, into her belly button, up her back and ALL over the carseat! Great!  We collapse exhausted and have a glass of wine on the deck and an early night. We agree to havea quiet day tomorrow.

Quiet day? me? yeah right? it was 0745 before I was chomping at the bit to get out of the hotel room and see something interesting. I take bub for a walk but being a sunday, the place is a ghost town. I'm sweaty, hungry and sore from being in the car so long but my Angel child is playing catch with the 20 flies on her face.
My mum is not a water/boat person and I'm way to self concious of my new mummy body to put on a swim suit so the next couple of days are filled with more site seeing (from the inside of ther car because of the heat and bugs) and more drinking. Certainly not the type of people you see at a caravan park. people too grossed out to leave the room. I should have just rented a room 10mins from home!
Everything aside, we're havinga great time. until.....


We are laying under a palm tree watching emus walk through the resort and dolphins swim by close to shore. the breeze is nice and the bugs are elsewhere so I comment how luck we are. Mum scolds me for jimxing it and I laugh it off.
An hour later we find ourself heading inland following the promise of a lagoon.
Sign says "20km's to lagoon, 2WD camping only"
2wd camping only? why aren't 4WD allowed to camp???
My god I'm a stupid Bitch! Sign MEANS..... 2WD don't go to lagoon, only go to camp site!!"
That aside, ourt Xtrail has a $wd button, we'll be fine. The track is bumpy but nothing serious and we arrive safe and sound. Getting out is another story.
The last 500m is super soft sand and I dont get enough speed going. Two ladies and a baby stuck in the sand!!
One car occupies the area and the driver is less than impressed with our lack of organisation, preperation and skill. I'm less that impressed with his attitude but will take any help I can get! He doesn't fail to remind me a dozen times that an Xtrail has no low range and I shouldn't be out here.
I'm normally not this stupid and my mum is normally super organised but the trip was last minute and suposed to be safe. Peytons due for a feed and I only have 1 bottle with me, no water and nothing to keep the sun from our skin. The sand is scortching, it's 40 degrees out and we both need to pee super bad!!We guard each others dignity and privacy and sneak off to the bush.

 We're trying to keep Peyton calm and our panic levels are getting high. Our car is blocking the only way out for the other car and letting our tires down and digging the dirt from under the car is doing sweet F A. Mum is red, sweaty, dirty and looks like she's about to have a heart attack. The cranky man is a walking heart attack him self and can only instruct us to do jobs that are way above our skill level.
He pulls his car arround to try and pull us out and gets stuck himself! not so clever now are you Arse Face!
His wife only seems annoyed her fishing trip was cut short. The digging continues and it breaks my heart to see my mum in such a state, her only concern keeping the heat, sun and flies off the baby.

I send mum to sit with the chief where ever she can find shade and I take the phone and begin to treck up a hill to find recepion. I'm preparing myself to walk back to the main road...
I get a crackly call through to our house answering machine but decide against leaving dad a scared meassage to call for help. I ring call connect and she patches me through to our hotel who promises to send help. Relief.
More good news! two real 4WD's are heading our way and I flag them down to pull arround the bush to avoid a colision. Cars full of good looking young Men. more importantly, young men with water and tow ropes. they pull arround and begin the slow process of frees us all... the land cruiser pulls the old couple out, then us. Mum and I wait under a tree feeding peyton and thanking our luck stars. We're informed that its rare for people to use this track, especially in the off season so we are luck to have found help! We begin to convoy out only to get stuck a second time. The land cruiser begins again and we are free an hour later. I'm happy to let this stranger drive us out, license or no license. We make it to the main road and stop for a well deserved drink (which old couple had all along.. thanks heaps!!)
We pull out with plans to meet at the pub so I can buy everyone a thank you round of beers but as if being left out, the patrol refuses to start.

The car needs a jump.... and I need a Zanex!