I made my bed, now I have to lay in it. I move off my friends couch and into my own place, I work, sleep, work, sleep and sleep some more while I figure out my next move. I live off a $15 weekly food budget so everything I earn can go to paying my debts. I want to start my new life with a clean slate and I'm going to have to rove myself quickly if I want some help.
I get to 20wks gestation and I'm debt free, working harder than ever and taking care of myself better than ever before. I've done my research, taken my classes, written countless lists, shopped up a storm and changed my way of thinking. I'm a selfish party animal turned caring family woman, spending all my time with those who matter and doing everything I can to make things right with those I've hurt with my bad choices.
My hard work is paying off. People are noticing the changes and understanding what I knew all along. I was meant to do this. (If I wasn't, the pill would have worked as it's supposed to).
I stick close to those who stood by me even though they didnt understand like my old friend Jenn, cousin Mel and mum and dad. My toughest critics become my biggest supporters and my baby belly is becoming my whole world.
I nearly killed me watching my family feel so disappointed and its a memory that will be with me forever. Was I really that lost in the moment that people have forgotten who I really am? How caring I am and what I think is really important in life. Apparently so! i've been on my bender for so long, everyone thought I was gone forever.
All the praise in the world for how far I've come wont erase those first few weeks but the past is the past and I have to believe that my family trust I'm doing the right thing.
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